I sit and find myself thinking of friends of years past recently. Who I still talk to, who has completely shut me out of their lives, and vice versa, and the ones that I called my best friends and now we’re no longer even friends. Some of it is for good, and others make me sad.
Im just glad that those that treated me like shit are gone.
Since my fiance and I got together and started an adventure some friends have just poofed themselves out of the picture for one reason or another. But then there are the ones that stayed. Those are my true friends. The ones that said go for it when I decided to hike the Pacific Crest Trail with my honey, and then they said go for it again when I wanted to do it again the next summer. The ones that tell me that I can do anything I want.
Then there were the ones that said that I could never walk from Mexico to Canada, and I may have not completed the whole 2600ish miles, but damn it I tried. And will try again. Those people suck. Literally. Sucked my life dry. Tired me out. Made me wonder what I was ever doing with them after I went so long without them.
I guess Im just glad I have who I have as friends.
It used to be that I was “the baby”. I was always at least 5 years younger then anyone else I hung out with, if not 10 years or more, and this started when I was 14. What the hell I was doing hanging out with people in their 20s escapes me. My mom was cool with it, so it must have been okay. They watched over me, coddled me, taught me, smoked pot with me, and generally made me feel loved and wanted. I couldnt see anything wrong with it.
A couple of years go by and there is DRAMA. Shit tons of it. Shes sleeping with him while he’s married to her, and he wants to blah blah blah. Drama. I weeded a bunch of those people out then, but a few stuck around. They ended up being my core group. I had no friends at school in HS, and I didnt mind. All of my friends were older and cooler, or what ever.
Fast forward a few years, now Im in my 20s. My group of friends for what ever reason has gotten even smaller. Still a couple around from when I was 14. They were my closest. Till one day my so called best friend turns into a raging cunt bag. You never realize how mean people are until its directed at you. I mean seriously. Telling someone to fuck off and die in front of somewhere around 100 people is fucked up.I didnt know what I had done, but I soon found out. I talked shit or whatever. I dont even care anymore. We “kissed and made up” to save face, but it didnt matter. We dont talk, and I could care less about her. I like her ex husband better anyway.
Shes still a raging cunt bag, by the way. And her snotty shit friend that fucked everything up too. From what I can tell, they arent friends anymore either. Hah.
I guess I just forget that people out grow each other sometimes, and its not always a bad thing, but its not always pleasant either. I miss some friends, a lot. And I know I can go see them, but being so far away with no car has put a wedge in our relationships, and distance is the only reason. Others just drifted away. One day we just werent friends anymore. Not by any one persons fault, it just happened. They’re still friends with people Im friends with, but we arent. Its a strange concept and feeling to me. Oh well.
Im happy with the people I call friends today. They’ve been around the longest. The most recent additions were my fiance and his family, and his BFF and BFFs family included, and that was almost 3 years ago now. They’re great people. And its awesome.
I guess I miss what is was like being a kid and having so many people to call friends, but in reality, my friends are awesome.